I feel so left out! I understand you’re hormonally challenged and you want your space; but I haven’t seen you or _________ for weeks just to visit and connect with, and honestly I wish you were someone else. After buying a fancy car with super life-saving devices so your child would be safe with me, I think she’s only ridden with me once. And by the way, thanks for bringing me take-out when I was sick.
P.S. don’t hang on so tight! Even if she’s your only child you’ll squeeze the life out of her! But that’s not likely; she’s too strong!
PS What IS my role in this family? Animal sitter? Mail getter? House sitter? Visit paw-paw in the nursing home? Where is the love?