Invisible Grandparent
Leave a Legacy of Love whether you can be there or not
I am an Invisible Grandparent. I have two grandchildren that, I have been kept from seeing. Writing letters helped heal the hole in my heart that not being able to grandparent caused. In the last three years I have written dozens, in hopes that someday, these children who are part of my gene pool will read them. I have also written others I have no intention of ever sending in order to free myself of negative energy and work toward forgiveness of both myself and others.
Please Note:
Knowing that there are two sides to every story and then the truth, I have decided use my own name on this website. What you see here is exclusively my personal perspective. All other names and locations have been changed to protect the privacy of those mentioned. While it is my fervent hope that deeper reconciliation will take place in my family; my goal is that others who read and identify with my story begin a similar healing process. Please comment on any or all of these letters and let me know the ways you’ve handled your own invisibility.
Who We Are
An Invisible Grandparent is anyone unable to participate fully in the lives of their children's children. We may be:
- Partially Visible: We once played a role in a young one's life, and were then blocked from it. We have tangible memories and ideas of where these children are and what they look like or may be like.
- Completely Invisible: We may not even know our grandchildren's whereabouts or even their names.
- Truly Transparent: Perhaps we or our children decided never to have a family, or lost one to miscarriage. Or, we may not have had an opportunity to face choices made long ago. We can only imagine the spirit of a child given up to adoption or abortion.
No matter what your situation, you may have a treasure trove of memories that you’d like to pass on. On this website you will be able to witness my own letters, post comments about them, AND (soon) join a community to share your ways of leaving a legacy of love whether we can be there or not.
What We Can Do
Invisible Grandparents of all types and anyone who wants to pass on memories can feel less alone by telling their stories. We can Leave a Legacy for our young ones, and Take Steps to Heal any negative energy circumstances beyond our control.
LEAVE A LEGACY
My way was Writing Letters. I found writing letters, to be ‘Shared and Saved’ very therapeutic. It is a way to preserve our memories, values, hopes and dreams, as well as envision a positive future for our young ones. It can give that spirit life and form, however imaginary. Here are some Writing Prompts to begin your own.
Others might collect postcards, create artwork, record music or videos, outline family genealogy or archive family photos. Someday, maybe many years hence, that child will discover and be enriched by his/her heritage.
TAKE STEPS TO HEAL
It is difficult to hear other grandparents brag about their grandchildren, or witness daily events, especially holidays, when you feel left out. Some days I couldn’t suppress the disappointment, rage or jealousy or that I felt. So I intentionally wrote some letters to be ‘Said but Never Sent’. In the process I found myself releasing negative energy. By actually burning some, and engaging in Rituals to transform that self-righteous anger to forgiveness, I slowly, though not yet completely, began to heal the hurt of separation.