Letters: Shared & Saved
I began writing letters, as an invisible grandparent, as a way to heal the separation that tugs at me in this pivotal stage in my own life. As I wrote the first letter, an incredible weight seemed to start to lift off my shoulders. I found the process incredibly therapeutic. I kept writing letters. Slowly but surely I realized that process was helping me heal past hurts. I am sharing my own letters in my fervent hope that others will be encouraged to begin this practice. 
See my Writing Prompts for suggestions on writing your own Invisible Grandparent letters.
More Important than ever: Wear Purple Today
After a shocking election in which the electoral system placed not the first woman in the White House, but a dangerously unstable man with a history of degrading not only women but races, religions and the environment; I am reminded of the blog I wrote as a letter to my grandchildren in Nov 2012. In […]
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Pat's Blog, Perspectives and Values
Dear Fourteen Year Old Annie!
I have been remiss in writing and posting letters to you. Ten years have gone by since I last saw you and first started writing and saving letters. I just came across my favorite picture of you from when you were just one in my jewelry box. How sad that time and distance and the […]
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Happy Birthday Annie!
October 24th and you are 14 years old. I have no idea what you look like as a young woman or how comfortable or happy you are with school, your friends, your sisters and family. Since all I can do right now is just imagine what kind of celebration you had, today in honor of […]
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Tai Chi: Fake it Gracefully
Dear Annie and Carter: If you’d met me in person … you’d probably say “my granny is always busy with so many exciting things to do every day,” or “sometimes it is hard to keep up with her,” or “she moves so fast it’s hard to believe she is seventy.” Well, the secret to […]
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Dear Annie : You have a new sister!
January 5, 2015 Dear Annie … I finally had the nerve to look you up on Facebook. At first I couldn’t find any with your combination of names; I guess that at 13 you may not have started that addictive game that some people get into constantly. That made me feel good. I did however […]
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Happy 10th Birthday!
October 24, 2012 Dear Anne: Happy Birthday! Wow … you have been growing up a full decade, ten years! I can hardly imagine what you must look like, or what type of birthday party you and your very creative mother have planned. The last one I went to you were three. It was ninety degrees […]
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Family Matters, Letters: Shared & Saved
Happy Resurrection Day!
April 9, 2012 Dear Anne and Carter: Yesterday was Easter, and my eyes teared up as they do most weeks, as I watched the children file into our ‘rockin’ Gospel church’ (www.innerlightministries.com). Not too many people had on ‘Easter bonnets’ as I did. But as that tune of a very old song went came to […]
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Happy Birthday! 11 is Huge!
February 18, 2011 Dear Carter … Happy Happy Birthday Ba-a-aby! How great to talk to you on your birthday! As you can see from the collage birthday card I mailed … the theme is “Eleven is Huge!” What I meant is that your teenage years are just around the corner, and your years as a […]
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Holidays are Hard for Invisible Grandparents
December 4, 2010 Dear Anne & Carter, no, actually this is for Suzie: Anne’s mother: Holiday seasons are hard on invisible grandparents! Do you realize that? Is there room for me, the biological grandmother of your firstborn, in that mind and memory of yours? Oh how I wish that were the case. I am taking […]
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A Christmas Trip to Radio City NYC
Dear Anne & Carter, Ooooh! I just finished reading the Arts & Leisure section of The Sunday New York Times. I always read that first, before that paper’s steaming intelligent analysis of current events. I swear reading it raises my IQ ten points. But somehow ‘the arts’ draw my attention first, before all the depressing […]
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Mothers Day Twenty-ten
MOTHERS DAY 2010 Mothers Day Twenty-ten Dear Brad: I am in Palm Springs alone. Alone by choice, with my writing and my thoughts on Mother’s Day. And I just “got” that I need to write the most difficult letter I needed to, and it is to you. My firstborn son. Right now Larry is trying […]
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‘Getting OLD’
February 16th Twenty-ten! Dear Anne & Carter: Tonight I’m teaching a class on “Aging Positively” in other words “Getting OLD!” I wonder what “old” means to you? Food in the refrigerator that’s gotten moldy? Bigger kids who are teenagers? People over 30? Or 60? Or as I now see it: over 90!? I used to […]
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Hairs on My Chinny Chin Chin?
March 9, 2010 Dear Anne … Yikes! You really feel old when you look in the mirror and notice those nasty little hairs that pop up unexpectedly on your chinny chin chin’ are white! Egads. I guess I really am 65! All my adult life, perhaps since my mid-twenties, although I was naturally blonde like […]
...read moreThings I Love About Larry
February 14th, 2010 Dear Anne and Carter: In honor of Valentine’s Day I’m going to make a list for you of “Things I Love about Larry.” I’ve learned a lot from my experience with men over the years. I’ve been married to three and lived with two others. I felt I was “in-love” with a […]
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You were married three times Grandma?
January 26th, 2010 Dear Anne and Carter: I can hear you asking me “You were married three times Grandma, why?” “Great question,” I’d reply, “How much time do you have and what would you like to know?” Well, since this is to the seven year old you, and shorter is better, I’ll give you the […]
...read moreSleeping Beauty
January 4th 2010 Dear Anne and Carter: Today I went to a theatrical performance of Sleeping Beauty all by myself. I wanted to be with children and watch how they’d react to seeing real people act out that famous fairy tale. I wanted to feel like a child again myself. I think that is why […]
...read moreWhere The Wild Things Are
January 20, 2010 Dear Anne & Carter, I just saw a movie that I thought it would be fun to take you to, if you were around. WHERE THE WILD THINGS ARE was a picture book that your father and Uncle Ted and probably every kid on the block had and loved. It was written […]
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Great Grandma Wilkin’s Memories
January 13th 2010 Dear Anne and Carter: I’ve told you about how I’ve always wanted to be a writer, right? Actually my mother, your great grandmother who is still alive at 89 and living in a retirement home in New Jersey, did too. When my sisters and I were in grade school, she was an […]
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A Military Funeral
Tuesday, November 17, 2009 Dear Anne & Carter: Yesterday Robert was buried at a military cemetery in Santa Nella California halfway between where you and I live. The day started off beautifully as we drove the hour and a half drive from Monterey over Pacheco Pass with bright sunlight on the rolling mountains, and wisps […]
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Robert Died This Morning
November 9th 2009 Dear Anne & Carter: Robert died Sunday morning. His daughter Gail and one of his best friends from his Navy day 40 years ago were staying in the next room. Just Saturday night they were talking with him about a big sign he’d made years ago when he’d been selling memorabilia products […]
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The 2008 Election: Impossible Dream?
October 31, 2008 Dear Anne and Carter: Today is Halloween, my favorite holiday. I like it much better than Christmas; but this year I didn’t even get dressed up. Larry and I took a break from the video we are making, turned the lights off and went to a movie. We didn’t want to stay […]
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The Tree Whisperer
Tuesday, October 7, 2008 Dear Anne and Carter: Today instead on Invisible Grandma, I think I should be named ‘The Tree Whisperer.’ Look at these pictures of a cypress tree in our back yard before and after (!) the landscapers in this housing complex got to it! I literally cried when I first saw this […]
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Arlington West: Veterans for Peace Memorial
Monday August 26, 2008 Dear Anne and Carter: Yesterday morning I took a walk on the boulevard (Carrillo Ave) in Santa Barbara. It is at the end of their main shopping street where a wharf begins that has more shops and restaurants. Your father and his brother Uncle Ted, who is now a soldier, used […]
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My First Letter: Your First Day of School
August 20, 2008 Dear Anne: You will be having your first day of school sometime this week! That must be exciting! Or is it scary? How would you describe it to me? Would you call and tell me? Or send me pictures? I would really REALLY love that. I still have a photo of your […]
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